Baby Brooke: December 2008

How signficant is a line? A line can be something as simple as a dash between words, a way to underline words to give them emphasis, a way to connect two dots, or really just the slip of a pen on a piece of paper . . . but for us (as I'm sure it is for many), one little line changed our lives forever!

On December 22nd of 2007 we came home from celebrating Christmas with my in-laws in Poplar Bluff and I had a sneaking suspicion that I might be pregnant. Ryan and I had driven seperately and I stopped and grabbed a pregnancy test while he was out running errands. I felt a real sense of calm as I set the testing stick on the bathroom counter and walked away. . . because watching the stick would be unheard of. I busied myself around the house for a few minutes telling myself that I would be pleased either way even though I was starting to feel like we were definitely ready! I had already prepped myself on what the signals of the test meant, because if you are cheap like me you don't get the pregnancy test that actually spells out the word pregnant! This one had one line or two lines so I knew that two lines meant pregnant. I was walking in the bathroom and in my head I was faintly thinking "two lines . . . two lines . . . two lines". And just like that . . . in a matter of seconds, my life changed when it said "TWO LINES!" My sense of calm rapidly disappeared and I think my whole body was shaking . . . with fear, apprehension, excitement, pure terror, thoughts of "what have we done" . . . who knows . . . probably all of the above.

When I bought the pregnancy test I thought about buying a little baby item so that I could wrap it up and have Ryan open it as a way to tell him I was pregnant and now I was regretting that I hadn't done that. The phone rang and Ryan said he was on his way home and I was in a frozen state of panic and I think all I said was "okay!" I was thinking that maybe I could wait until Ryan got home and then run out and get something but then I quickly realized that Ryan would take one look at me and know something was up! So in full panic mode at this point because a) I'M PREGNANT, and b) every minute is bringing Ryan's car closer. I was disappointed because in my mind I always had some fun/exciting way that I would break the news to Ryan and of course he would reply with an overjoyed reaction (instead of panic)! So with minutes to spare . . . I remember a semi-gag gift my mother gave me as a wedding shower present. . . it was a tank top and pair of underwear that have "mommy-to-be" written across them in little crystals! I felt like a genius for remembering these long-forgotten items so I frantically go tearing through drawers to figure out what dark corner I'd buried them in! Success! I drag them out and through them on!

At this point I'm really in full blown panic/excitement/terror/stomach knotting mode! So I sit down at the piano to play since it was always a method I always used growing up to calm down and smooth my nerves! I feel like I'm starting to relax and I hear the whir of the garage dooor opening! Instantly the calm evaporates and literally my whole body feels like it's shaking and cramping. I hear Ryan open the door and holler that he is home and instantly the tears start pouring down my face. . . yet I continute to play! Our piano is located in a room that has two doorways (one opening into the kitchen and the other opening into the entryway). Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ryan walk by the kitchen doorway with his arms full of some rugs that he had purchased. Then I realize that it's now or never and I get up and walk around to the other doorway just as he is rounding the other corner. I'm quietly standing there . . . yes . . . in only a tank top and underwear (in the middle of winter) and tears are streaming down my face.

Ryan looks at my face and instantly he is very concerned and says "oh, honey, what is wrong?" I then point to my shirt and in slow motion I see him look down at my shirt and read it and then a huge smile erupts on his face. He drops the armload of rugs he is still holding and races over and gives me a huge hug! It was so wonderful.

Then we wanted to come up with a fun/creative way to tell the family. We knew it was early to be telling people but we knew there would be no way we could make it through the holiday without spilling the beans. We wanted to wrap up little presents that said something about grandma/grandpa but we couldn't find anything we liked. So we bought some blank onesies and some puff paints and had a blast decorating them. It turned out that Ryan is way more skilled in the art of puff pants so his turned out much nicer than my pathetic onesie.

So Christmas Eve we wrapped up two onesies for Pete and Donna to open simultaneously. And it was quite comical as they opened the presents and stared at them for several minutes before they understood what it meant. And my parents did the same thing on Christmas morning. They unwrapped them and held them up and were very confused until my sister-in-law looked at me and said "oh my gosh . . . you're pregnant!"

It's amazing how quickly things can change. It seems like each day brings something new. Brooke has now started to get coordinated with her hands. Her new thing is to pull her pacifier out of her mouth (which she is quite proud of) and it's just about the cutest thing ever. She has also started arching her back . . . which is a development I'm not too pleased to see! She is also starting to develop new levels to her crying (unfortunately it's much louder and it sounds like she is being tortured). Granted we are two parents who haven't heard a great deal of crying from our baby so we probably don't have any room to complain. I heard a newborn crying in the mall and Brooke doesn't sound like that at all anymore and it makes me sad. But we eagerly look forward to each and every day and the developments and changes they bring. Unfortunately her newfound hand coordination has made her good at pulling hair . . . poor Poppy doesn't have much to spare!